


Reasons To Go On

by Lady_Katana4544



Category: Transformers Generation One
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/F, F/M, Femslash, Het, Implied Past Threesome, Language, Presumed Death of a Major Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-11-27
Updated: 2010-11-27
Packaged: 2018-02-12 18:17:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,041
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2119908
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lady_Katana4544/pseuds/Lady_Katana4544
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Title: Reasons To Go On<br/>Rating: T<br/>Characters: Elita One, Arcee, Optimus Prime, ensemble; former Optimus Prime/Elita One, Elita One/Arcee, heavily implied Ultra Magnus/Hot Rod, implied Chromia/Firestar, implied past Elita One/Chromia/Ultra Magnus<br/>Summary: She had found the reason to go on.<br/>Disclaimer: Recognizable characters are not mine.<br/>Warnings: violence, language, femslash, implied slash, strong death implications<br/>Notes: Can be seen as a stand alone fic or as a side fic to "Gentle Giants". Written for the tf_rare_pairing November challenge.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>0000</p>
    </blockquote>





	Reasons To Go On

**Author's Note:**

> Title: Reasons To Go On  
> Rating: T  
> Characters: Elita One, Arcee, Optimus Prime, ensemble; former Optimus Prime/Elita One, Elita One/Arcee, heavily implied Ultra Magnus/Hot Rod, implied Chromia/Firestar, implied past Elita One/Chromia/Ultra Magnus  
> Summary: She had found the reason to go on.  
> Disclaimer: Recognizable characters are not mine.  
> Warnings: violence, language, femslash, implied slash, strong death implications  
> Notes: Can be seen as a stand alone fic or as a side fic to "Gentle Giants". Written for the tf_rare_pairing November challenge.
> 
>  
> 
> 0000

So many lives had been lost since the beginning of the war. Some by complete accident, some were made as targets for the Decepticons, others by the leading her former lover almost claimed mate and herself. 

She too had nearly lost her life and spark after one of her groups that she had been trying to lead to what she had hoped would have been safety for the group that she had been trying to move safely.

Even the Prime whom, she had loved dearly with her spark was dead along with his crew. In a way she knew that she was responsible for all of their deaths too, for not trying hard enough to convince the Prime to stay with him.

Did that make her responsible for the deaths of the Decepticons and Megatron, who had apparently followed them from Cybertron? If anything it meant more now that Shockwave had control of the remaining Cybertronian based Decepticons.

The bond that she would have shared with the Prime forever was blocked to her mental touch and she had no way of knowing if he was alive or dead. 

There were so many reasons with death connected to them that weighed down on her shoulders and her spark. The many death spectors in her mind that were calling for her to take her own life and be done with it. 

That there was no reason for her to go on, that no one would ever claim or even think to touch her now. That she would only lead the remaining Autobots to their deaths for something that could possibly even now only be an empty cause.

The optics of the still functioning and even the no longer functioning followed her every movement and every facade that she held within her frame, what they were waiting for? Were they waiting for her to break down completely?

It wasn't hard to see and know that she wasn't fooling her closest friends with the facade of falsely being strong for everyone that needed her. That she was likely close to doing something stupid.

So many innocents were being lost and joining the spectors in her mind and spark, their whispers growing seductively louder in the darkness. Some orns, she even thought that she could hear her former lover among them, which wouldn't have exactly been impossible. Her friends were going to die too, if they stayed to close to her like everyone else that she had failed to keep safe and protect from the Decepticons.

What reasons were for her to go on and not take her own life now? 

What -

"Here."

Her thoughts were shattered in pieces as a data pad was suddenly thrust into her face and surprised she looked up into the concerned face of Ultra Magnus and the semi scowling face of her dear friend, Chromia. Surprise that she quickly hid away behind a facade of masked calm as she took the data pad from them and started looking through the data on it, even though she knew that her closest friends had already seen.

"What is this for?"

"Data of the latest refugees that came in with Firestar earlier in the orn.. lists of Shockwave's guarded energon stocks.. names of our newest recruits.. ideas for battle plans, you name it. Its all there and needs your looking over."

She looked at them again, then back at the data pad and scanned it all again, before she gave her energy signature for the battle plans and plans for new raids. Though she couldn't help, but wonder how many she would be sending in to get deactivated this time.

"This has to stop, 'Lita."

Again, she was surprised by the quiet words that Ultra had said and looked up at him not bothering to hide her surprise this time.

"What are you talking about, Ultra? I'm completely fine."

Even to her audios, the small protest sounded weak and didn't carry much weight behind the uttered words. It did however earn her being pushed roughly into the unused room behind her and struggling with a scowling Chromia in her face with Ultra coming in behind her to lock the door.

"What are you doing? Unhand me this instant!"

"No until you listen to us, Elita!"

"I don't -"

Ultra silenced her with one finger on her mouth... something that Optimus had used to do with her too long before the decision to leave Cybertron had even been thought of, and Chromia was surprised to find her arms full of one Elita as the blue white mech behind them embraced them in a firm but gentle hold.

"Elita, you can't be doing this to yourself. Don't let your inner demons take control of you or your life. We don't want to lose you either."

"B-but Optimus and his crew are dead because we - I let them leave Cybertron and Megatron went after them with a crew of his own. They are dead because I didn't try hard enough to keep Prime here."

A hand, she wasn't sure which of them it belonged to as it touched her cheek gently and she leaned into it slightly, before she pulled her face away from it. Chromia only smiled slightly at the reaction she had witnessed as she watched her two friends and former lovers.

"You don't know that for sure, 'Lita. Megatron would have gone for Prime no matter what you could do, there was no way to know that he was going to follow them into space. Or that we would lose complete contact with them like this."

"Listen to us, Elita please. I thought that I was going to go crazy and die when I felt Ironhide's presence in the bond fade. Does that mean he's dead, Primus knows that I hope he didn't. But I had to force myself to move past that loss, allow myself some time to mourn him and move on. Now I'm with Flareup and helping her to do the same as I had done for her own two. Why can't you let yourself move on from this? Ultra and I can't handle loosing you too, just because your inner demons want you to die."

"And this isn't something that Optimus would want to happen to you, 'Lita. He'd rather you be the strong femme that he knows you are and keep leading the fight here against the 'Cons."

She ducked her head and smiled slightly into Chromia's shoulder plate, that definitely sounded like her former lover and Chromia's words had definitely brought something back into her spark. She looked up at Ultra with the small smile still on her face.

"And just how would you know that, Ultra?"

As the taller mech proceeded to look sheepish and apparently find something on the ceiling rather interesting, she held back the soft amused sound inside her.

"Just something that Optimus told me before he left with his chosen crew as he was almost completely sure that the last raid by the 'Cons hadn't taken your life as the report had detailed."

Ah yes that particular mission she remembered quite well, especially since it had been predicted that it would go smoothly as long as the 'Cons stayed away even though it was well know that she would be a very tempting target for them not to stay away or not try anything against her. The sudden unbearable heat and pain of the resulting fire from the explosions had left her damaged enough to make anyone and everyone, including her dearest Prime, who didn't know the full details about the mission think that her spark had been extinguished. 

Even going as far as to make sure that she wasn't repaired by Ratchet, otherwise there would be a slip in information and then Prime would have known that she was alive, then the Decepticons would have have found out too. 

Something that she hadn't wanted to happen, but everyone had to think and believe that she had died.

"Elita?"

"Hmm?"

"Have you been listening to us?"

"I have been listening Chromia and I was thinking too."

"About what?"

"You were both right in what you have said. I've become to important to my dear friends, even our fellow Autobots to let my personal demons get in the way of what needs to be done and move on instead of dwelling forever on what I've lost."

Chromia then laughed gently and released her grasp on the younger femme as Ultra smiled and his arms tightened around them gently before a distant look entered his optics and he chuckled dryly. Elita hit his chest in response and got a pretend look of hurt on the mech's in response.

"What's so funny, Ultra?"

"Only that Hot Rod is saying that we need to get our rusty afts out of here, because he believes that he might have found something that would interest you, Elita. Something that would likely give you a reason to be keep going."

"Has he now?"

Chromia gave her a heated coy look and smile as they left the room together to go see just what that something was that Hot Rod had so eloquently found before contacting his mate. She hadn't expected for her spark and pump to stutter in response to the femme that was standing next to her friend's young mate, decidedly ignoring the looks that she was getting from both mechs and the femmes that were in the room with them.

Aside from Chromia, the femme was the most beautiful that she had ever laid optics on in her entire functioning since the war had begun. Their colors seem to complement each other beautifully and it made her even more interested in the young femme, who had apparently noticed her watching her and gave her a slight smile.

At Chromia's not so gentle nudge in her general direction, she moved towards the unknown femme and after stopping in front of her, she held out her hand smiling softly.

"I am Elita One. And you would be?"

The other femme glanced between her hand and face, before obviously making a decision that she would always remember, the femme took her hand into her own and gently tugged her so that their lips met each other in the middle. They stayed like for almost a breem before Elita pulled away with a obvious question in her optics and the femme smiled widely.

"Call me Arcee, Elita. I've heard a lot about you."

It was enough to snap her out of the surprised daze... well that and the snicker from Chromia which got her a glare in response before she looked back at Arcee with a smile.

"It is nice to meet, Arcee, though I wish it had been in better times. Lets talk somewhere were there won't be any prying optics and audios."

Arcee nodded quickly and followed the other femme, leaving behind a room of grinning comrades, who held onto the hope that things were going to go better in case of Elita's spark opening up to someone new, instead bringing her down further into a pit of depression that she might not have left.

0000

She had to be quick on her feet to keep herself and her raiding team safely out of the grasp of the Decepticons that were between them and getting back to the base. Her team that included her new lover, Arcee. 

At least so far, their mission was going as well as could expected, they had managed to get into the base successfully. 

It was the getting out part that was turning to be hard thanks to the fact that the 'Cons knew they were there and had sent for more reinforcements to stop them from getting away with the energon that they had found.

She barked out orders to her team and they all quickly followed her orders as best they could as she kept a close optic on her lover, trying to make sure that she would be alright if they were somehow separated by the rapidly incoming Decepticons.

Oh yes, she had definitely a reason to keep going on after so many lives had been lost to the thrice damned war.


End file.
